pain in my chest

this post gonna long story. perhaps I should change the profile or maybe change the blog address so people that know me won't feel hurt or know how I feel. maybe I hold it too long time and I feel want to express it like a burst of bomb. or it is too excessive and hyperbola. what ever.

holding back.

holding back. I still hope that she would realized what day that has pass. yes I'm crying while writing this and I still hope she would realized. No I still hope. mungkin la kalau tak pun tahun depan masih ada. tak. ak dah maafkan dah pun. but the truth aku xleh terima. she is my friend after all. my close friend.

i even scroll and scroll her friend profile fb pun. I just want to tell you. I miss you

I afraid she hole revenge on me. after all I'm not a good friend pun. Dan xsenang di buat kawan pun :(

hardership.

yea. ak pass the hard time. but the coming one i more tough than this. I afraid. and just have to find the strength right

- aku rasa setiap kali aku berada dalam situasi tu the thing get harder on me. setiap kali. I feel that aku patut wake up. holding back again. find the strenght. yea it is hard. feel like it JUST ME is being put in that situation. always me. aku tak pernah salah kan takdir pun. mungkin takdir aku. manusia after all. asyik rasa nak merungut walaupun ko tak kan rasa hardership orang lain. sebab ko not in their shoes.
yea I put the blame on me. YOU also can the blame on me. emotional again

rasa nak marah kat semua orang. yea I holding back again. always holding back. cry again. get better and strong my heart.

like weekend lepas. plug bilik aku semua xleh on. tahu lah kan bila xleh on thing get harder. xleh on laptop hence xleh buat report. iron baju semua masalah. i'm and roomate dalam masalah tu. i'm the one.

after all the plug okay after sunday :(

time tu kau rasa macam nak lempang semua orang. and people around you given hard time also. rasa nak lempang lagi sekali

tu je lah td macam banyak je nak di tulis . after all aku mintak maaf lah klo terasa and i'm okay. I pendam lama dan baru ada masa nak tulis. yea. busy . okay then and see you soon